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November 08, 2007
Finally!
After more than four years of his affair, almost 15 months of separation, nine months since he filed, and exactly a month since our mediation hearing, and less than 60 days from what would have been our 17th wedding anniversary...my divorce is finally FINAL - effective November 7, 2007. I would have thought I would feel bad, but the truth is I feel a great sense of relief...now he can go mess-up his life without any more of the muck sticking to me.
My financial future is pretty bright now that I won't have to plan on bailing him out regularly - the fact that he owes roughly $300,000 to the bank, the IRS, and me (mine is a very small chunk of that amount...a very small chunk...and I will have the wire-transfer in hand by tomorrow morning) never seems to make an impression on him. Oh well, I'm sure the future Mrs. Douglas Brougher, has been ready to bail him out since their affair began...wonder how far she can stretch her minimum wage job. LOL Now my financial future is my own, I just have to finish my diss and get a real job.
The picture, with this post, is something I find amusing...it's a wedding ring coffin. It comes with six plaques you can attach:
- Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow
- Rest in Peace
- R.I.P.
- Gone and Forgotten
- I Do...NOT!!
- Six feet isn't deep enough!
I'm not sure which one I would use, if I was wild enough to buy this thing. I will save my ring...first as an illustration of the way that something can look good on the outside and be hollow on the inside - a very good picture of my Ex, second because the ring is gold it's actually worth something, and third I paid for it...as I paid for both of his (he lost his first one bailing hay...lucky for him he didn't lose the finger too) and my engagement ring...three of the half million things he never paid me for after he offered to do so..so it's really mine. LOL
Well it's all "Onward and Upward"* - My favorite way to move into my day, and it is a phrase that Ex hated...he also hated when I said "If that's the worst thing that happens today we are doing ok!" Optimism is not his thing.
*Note: Attribution - Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865), U.S. president. address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Sep. 30, 1859. Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 3, p. 482, Rutgers University Press (1953, 1990).
Posted by prolurkr at November 8, 2007 04:11 PM
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Comments
Posted by: Paul at November 8, 2007 05:41 PM
Happy new beginnings, Lois.
Posted by: cathy at November 9, 2007 03:40 AM
Congrats!!! I feel your relief and I'm excited about what comes next for you!
Posted by: Anna at November 10, 2007 09:43 AM
Glad to know you are moving forward with your life, which is exactly the message behind our Wedding Ring Coffin. Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow is our motto. We never really intended for rings to be buried in the ground. The Wedding Ring Coffin was meant to allow you you physically and symbolically close the lid on your marriage and then use it as a keepsake box, or display it as a conversation piece, or to occasionally inspire you as you move on with your life. BUT if burying it helps to put the past in proper perspective, then thats fine too.
Posted by: Steve at November 17, 2007 08:51 PM
Congratulations! I too know how you feel. And I can recognize the great relief of divorce (you really can be almost giddy after). It truly is an onward and upward phase in your life!
Posted by: Stephanie at November 20, 2007 02:23 AM


Congratulations! I am in the same boat (working on Phd, working though a divorce that is almost finished, and under almost the EXACT same circumstances), and I understand the truth in this post. Thank you.